Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
