you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
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