so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
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I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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