Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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