if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How external is "for external use only"?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize