Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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