oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Is Oprah even human
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
