:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
