I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
