I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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