thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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