went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
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Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
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A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
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