then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
