I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
