We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
