I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
honey bunches of taint.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
What a dumb baby whore.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
