Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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