Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
