I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
