I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I am mentally ready for anal.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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