my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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