and you said cock pushups were impossible
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Randomize
