no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
