guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
