i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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