The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
worst night to have a conscience
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
