Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
why do cheetos always look like penises
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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