i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize