seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
