are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
