Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
