There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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