u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
