babies were throwing up all over the place
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
