so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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