there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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