Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
