do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
