I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
