are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
