just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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