That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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