It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
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Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
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Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
jump out the window naked night went bad
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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