First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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