My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
