sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
