And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
