We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Randomize
