it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
