She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
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He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
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Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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