What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
