We named our party play list daddy issues
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize