This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
