I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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