he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
