Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
