i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
