I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
