i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
