i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
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