Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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