Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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