i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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