it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
